get on the train!

A friend made a comment that he was interested in doing a movie double feature with, first, this:



And secondly, this:



And that seems appropriate, no? First, The Human Centipede involves people actually being sewn together, anus to mouth, in a line that forces them to share a digestive tract so, beyond victim number one, the only way to feed is to—excuse me while I gag—ingest the incoming, uh, load. (sorry).

So that's all literal and shit—with literal, ya know, shit—but, venture into the metaphorical with me in considering Sex and the City 2 as a story not far off from that of The Human Centipeded: Carrie leads the linked pack of flighty females who pretty much construct their own nightmares with their ridiculous antics and uninformed, emotionally-driven decisions, all the while ingesting that which she excretes—mostly-horrid fashion, bad relationship examples, and oh-my-God-shut-the-fuck-up-with-all-those-puns puns—only to have it pass through their own systems of pollution to become even more gunked up with nonsense and poor judgment to finally reach at the end, oh I don't know, Samantha, where it's crapped out on the floor in a pile of dumb fucking shit. So who's the evil doctor in the SATC 2 scenario? Sadly, peeps, we are.

Seth